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Oh, this is so sad....

Category: Relationships & Dating

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Photo of Angela M.

Elite '08

74

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04/08/2008 Angela "Pulchritudinous 'tude" M. says:

So, I'm really going out on a limb here and kind of baring my soul.  As much as this hurts to admit, I've been a bit of a work-a-holic and over-doer, but not much in the social arena.  You'll see why this is important.  Tomorrow is actually my b-day.  I'm going out of town Thursday night to visit my family and the trip is my present.  Because my husband is taking off Friday and Monday, he plans on getting more hours in tomorrow to make up for lost time.  Him getting over time is pretty important for many reasons right now.....without going into that and no we're not in financial dire straits, so don't worry.  Gosh this is hard to explain!  Anyway, he told me he's working late tomorrow meaning, no time spent with me on my b-day.  I'm going to work in the morning, but I'll be off in the afternoon and free all night.  I'm one of those people where for my b-day, celebrating on the day specifically, is a big deal.  Don't think my husband is a jerk, because he sent me flowers already so I could enjoy them for my whole birthday, but what do you think?  Is he just saying that he's going to work and is going to surprise me?  He is the surprise kind, but I'm wondering, is he serious?  I'm really think he's serious about working late and not seeing me this time since we're going away for the weekend together.

So, if he is going to surprise me, he has something planned already, I don't want to ruin it.

BUT, if he's not, then I'll be alone...it's a week night and most people aren't up for going out, so I don't know how many friends could make it out.  Spending a b-day alone is one of the most depressing things I can think of (this is just in my book personally, I don't know about others)...

What do you think I should do, then?  I know this is kind of complex, but I actually feel embarrassed that I don't have plans and little to no time to think of something.

I need a back-up plan and quick!  I don't want to spend the evening crying into a wine glass with a stack of tissues next to me while watching sad chick-flicks....
Photo of Becky T.

Elite '08

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04/08/2008 Becky T. says:

Happy early Bday Angela!  It's a day to celebrate yourself so spoil yourself with some shopping, a walk amongst the cherry blossoms and a good meal and think about how much fun you'll have this weekend.
Photo of Angela M.

Elite '08

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04/08/2008 Angela "Pulchritudinous 'tude" M. says:

This is one option I've thought of...I'm not really much of a do it alone person, but maybe I do just need some "me" time to get some clarity.  I'm making it seem like it's the end of the world when it's not.  Maybe I'm just a spoiled brat sometimes :)
Photo of Armenoush A.

Elite '08

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04/08/2008 Armenoush A. says:

Kramerbooks... you can browse alone in the company of dozens and feel intellectual to boot!
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04/08/2008

This post was removed because the yelper who wrote it has closed their Yelp account and is no longer a registered yelper.

Photo of Stef W.

Elite '08

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04/08/2008 Stef "Big Red" W. says:

Happy Almost Birthday, Angela!  

Becky gave some great suggestions!  If those don't work for you, I would suggest calling one or two of your best girlfriends.  No friend would want one of her girls to be solo on her birthday, regardless of what night it falls on.  Plus, a good friend might know (or be able to check) if your husband is planning a surprise dinner or something.  As a back-up, find a spa like Red Door that is open late and make an appointment.  Whatever you do, I hope that you have a great day and enjoy your celebratory trip!
Photo of Angela M.

Elite '08

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04/08/2008 Angela "Pulchritudinous 'tude" M. says:

C - yeah, some growing up may be in order....I figure I'll do a little of some of the things that I want to - maybe go shopping,  look at books like Armenoush suggested, and maybe order out for something I want for dinner.  I also like the spa idea you suggested, Stef...after all that, I may just do some laundry and pack, after all that's what big girls do.  Gotta be ready on Thursday to fly out anyway.

A new perspective on a seemiingly glum situtation is always great, and you guys have made me look at the glass like it's half-full - Thank you!!
Photo of Chris M.

Elite '08

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04/08/2008 Chris "Dining Solo" M. says:

Alone on your birthday?  Sounds like a stress-free way to spend an enjoyable day to me, but to each his/her own.  You don't feel that way.  Perhaps you should make him jealous by hanging on to a gloriously masculine and tantalizing mystery man like myself all evening!  No?  Well alright, but you don't know what you're missing!  :)  

I'm gonna have to go along with CC on this one, and recommend you avoid focusing on a date on the calendar, and start focusing on the occasion that you'll have a great time celebrating.  I also think the spa concept is a great idea...its usually a solo activity - so you won't feel out of place, you can just enjoy a massage, etc.

I certainly hope you enjoy the celebration...[sending positive vibes your way through the miracle of the information superhighway, Angela.]
Photo of Thea C.

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04/08/2008 Thea "is not a valid Scrabble word" C. says:

Yeah! Totally indulge yourself. And I suggest doing something completely different or just something you've been meaning to do but haven't. Like when was the last time you went to the zoo? Made a crepe suzette for yourself? Danced and sang around in your room to your favorite 80's arena rock blasting out of the stereo? Took pictures around the city? It doesn't have to be an amazing revelation or incredibly indulgent--just do whatever will make you happy and try not to think too much about it. I love alone time--I absolutely need it or my head will implode :).

Good luck and happy early birthday!!
Photo of eva r.

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04/08/2008 eva "luvsmike" r. says:

he took friday and monday, he's not a jerk, he's doing that for you, enjoy it...
Photo of Clint U.

Elite '08

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04/08/2008 Clint U. says:

Angela.....you could try and call his bluff by finding some girlfriends to have dinner on your bday....tell him you found something to do since he is at work.   He should know you by now that being alone on your bday depresses you.   That's very common.   Tell him your plans and see his reaction.   If he gives you a million reasons not to go out with your girlfriends then you know something is up.......

And no way his is a jerk if he made plans for a long weekend for you two.   Making long weekend plans is not insignificant especially if he has to take off work and is needed there.   I agree with the time-space continuum...do tomorrow what you would have done on saturday.....but if you really get in the dumps...invite some friends over or go out for a drink.
Photo of Ben M.

Elite '08

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04/08/2008 Ben "Orange and Blue" M. says:

Having my birthday shortly after Christmas, I'm somewhat used to being more or less alone (dinner with family, and that's it usually), but that doesn't make it any less depressing, so I'm with you on that!  As for what to do, I really have no idea.  But calling his bluff might be fun.
Photo of Angela M.

Elite '08

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04/08/2008 Angela "Pulchritudinous 'tude" M. says:

Hey! I didn't call him a jerk....I said "don't think he his"  I just didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea cause he's a real sweetie.  That being said, I will probably make my plans without the intent of getting anything out of him, but I like how you think Clint :)

These are all really good ideas, so thank you.
Photo of T S.

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07/14/2008 T S. says:

so how DID you end up spending your birthday earlier this year?
Photo of Gigi L.

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07/14/2008 Gigi "Tinkerbell" L. says:

Happy Birthday, Angela. Think positively. Everyone here is sending good energy and thoughts your way.  I too think it's better not to focus on a calendar date. It's just another day in the year. Think about celebrating the occasion. Hell, things could be worse... My last birthday was on a Friday the 13th, but I made it!

Do what makes you happy that day. Go with the flow, If you feel like shopping, being with friends, eating a triple scoop of ice cream, do it!  Wishing you peace and joy! Gigi
Photo of Angela M.

Elite '08

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07/15/2008 Angela "Pulchritudinous 'tude" M. says:

Since you asked, TS, my actual b-day was spent at work since I was flying out the next day to go to Houston.  Mid-way through the work day I started feeling like crap...body aches, sensitive skin, headache and FEVER.  So, I went home and got right into bed; I measured my temperature at 101 at this point.  It got as high as 102 and when my hubby came home, he took care of me and made me soup and helped with the packing.  Told you guys he was sweet!  So, the entire weekend when I was in Houston, I had the worst illness I've had in years and spent a lot of the time of my sister's couch watching Arrested Development and being completely fatigued.  I got some pho for the first time, had some fajitas twice and wrecked a jet ski.  Here are the reviews to go with it....

First pho experience:  http://www.yelp.com/bi...
Botched fajitas:  http://www.yelp.com/bi...
Favorite Fajitas:  http://www.yelp.com/bi...
Jet Ski accident:  http://www.yelp.com/bi...

Thank you for the belated b-day wishes, Gigi ;)  That's sweet of you.
Photo of Lee T.

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07/15/2008 Lee "Cluck U 911 Wings" T. says:

Happy Birthday, I usually spend my birthdays by having dinner with my family and then going out with my friends. Two great alternative plans for today.
Photo of Angela M.

Elite '08

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07/15/2008 Angela "Pulchritudinous 'tude" M. says:

You guys are all really sweet, but my b-day was April 9th; someone just dug up the thread, oh, it was TS, and asked how my birthday went.

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